Nightlight Revelations

“The truth of my existence tugs at my veins… and even I am surprised at the hand She has had in my making. In retrospect, so many things fall into place now that never did before. So many of the seemingly unentangled choices I have made, demands I put upon myself, in the full context of my being, only now begin to make sense.

M’Lady Night, She who wears the Stars in Her hair, The dangerous, deadly, hidden, beautiful mystery of every Desert Night… She who claimed me as Daughter before my existence ever stitched into being.

As dusk starts falling every day, I can literally feel my veins itch with Her. At night, under the desert stars, She fills me to the point of wanting to break. She is literally embedded within me, and so I carry M’Lady Night with me even in the light day. Her voice whispers with every shadow, her children carry out Her unfathomable will at every turn, and I stand anchored, one foot in the World of What is Not, the other in What She will make Be.

None of it works, unless all of it works together… My use as a doorway to Her only makes since when I am anchored within My Desert. For I am it’s child as well, forged under the heat of it’s imminent Sun, my blood-splattered legacy soaked up within the sand and the thorns that I have always loved.

The suddenness of this revelation is going to, again, remake me. Only this time, I know I will survive, and come out of the other side intact… More intact than I have ever been.”


Henosis is a dangerous pursuit

…one that leaves your skin empty of glory and good for a while.

But as I sit here, with my pain and my flesh angry from bleeding, the nature of the gift that is my humanity sits closer to the surface than is usual. An introspective pain all its own, made brighter by having Her Shadow permeate me with purpose just hours past.

… And so I sit, eye to eye with the past ghosts of myself, knowing that this pain too will pass into nothing.

“What Do You See?”



What do you see when you look inside me?
The hunger, the darkness, or what I can’t be?

Do you see lonely when you see these eyes?
Or simply a soul that just can’t compromise?

What do you know about horror and pain?
Do you see the beauty, or simply the stain?

Can you feel the longing as you pull the knife?
Do you dream of the lover that spills out your life?

Did you know that the devils that live inside me
Can live in the shadows of all who can see?

So what do you know about all that I am?
Shall I walk alone with the devils and damned?

What do you see when you look inside me?
Do you see the beauty… or dread that I breed?


A simple starting point…

I get questioned often enough about why I use the Term “Infernal Polytheist” for myself that I think it is well past time to address it, and to address just what this “Infernalism” is and means to me, and some of the concepts that are central to it in my practice. As of writing this, I keep in contact with handful of people who are studying these concepts and are working with these Deities on their own, and as we have shared information and experiences with one another, some common ground has shown it’s self, and Im hoping I can capture it well enough here… at least well enough to allow for understanding of our *base* as it were.

For starters “Polytheistic Infernalism” is not really a standing Religion, but more of a Religious Concept that centers on The Gods and Spirits of the various Underworlds, and all the different Concepts that encompass Darkness it’s self. It is a Concept that sees The Darkness and The Light as two different Spiritual Constructs, which have very different paths of interaction, and concerns it’s self with the workings of The Gods and Spirits Darkness rather than the (very well tread, very well known) concepts of Those Of Light. Not because one is better than the other, or because they are at odds with one another, but because at a Polytheistic Infernalists very core is a tugging that cannot be denied, a tugging that leads our feet off of the Path of the Many, and into the Shadowed Worlds where so many monsters dwell. Unlike those who go through “The Dark Night of the Soul” and return gladly to the Daylight, or those who take a few spiritual journeys to conquer what they see as their own negative darkness, a Polytheistic Infernalist finds themselves quite at home in the Shadows of both worlds.

Now, right here is where many people start to delve into very tiresome clichés… Images of Goths and LARPing Vampire get togethers (Those are still fun though!) , teenagers haunting their local graveyards smoking cloves and playing with ouija boards (also fun), self proclaimed “Dark Magicians” who couldn’t magic their way out of a wet paper sack (these guys are less fun)… When most people start talking about “The Darkness” or “The Shadowside” this is what they see represented. This is why so many people who are called to do this work keep it to themselves, and pretty much go at their practice alone. These clichés are part of what I am hoping to help others break free from if they like , and why Im writing all this… so that they can peruse the Darkness in a serous, authentic, and healthy manner. Because there is so much of worth that is yet uncovered.

I am going to be addressing a number of basic concepts and some simple applied language and terms to give one a more firm footing about the actual subject matter of these concepts. The sad truth is, that when one tries to delve into this subject matter in a way not aimed at the very shallow or the played up spooky, one quickly discovers that the subject of the Infernal Strain of Spirituality is missing vast chunks of foundation in our top heavy and light obsessed world. There are many popular misconceptions carried forward by mainstream religions, consumed media, and bad Alternative Religious Concepts. Instead of trying to combat those things, it is actually a far more simple process to start from the underground up as it were.

The first thing we should address is “What, exactly, are your referencing when you say Darkness?” Hint: it is far more than one, singular thing. Having spent years wrapped up in the study of these very things, and with help from some of my Infernal leaning Associates, I have come up with The Three Concepts of Darkness as a basic introduction to some Key Concepts that are often worked with.

The First Concept of Darkness is the Darkness Present in our Physical World. This is the Darkness of Night Time, The Darkness of Shadows Cast by Objects, And the Darkness of Earth, which can be both natural (places like caves) and man made (places such as basements). While each of these Concepts of Darkness are rooted in our physical world and can be experienced as *physical* things , they each also have different spiritual qualities, and different energy patterns that one can manipulate and interact with. This is the first Concept of Darkness that I encourage people to interact with at length, as the nature of these Shadows are often mirrored in the other two concepts. The stand apart here is, of course, the Darkness of Night, which is more than the simple absence of light and physical Nighttime, but also a Primal Deity that I will address at length at a later date.

The Second Concept of Darkness is the Darkness of our Inner Landscape. This is the Darkness we carry inside of us, our inner monsters, our darkest natures. As a society obsessed with the Spiritual Concepts of Light, very few people ever take the time to learn about their Inner Dark Landscape. While it is given lip service in many religious settings, it is most often treated as something to be conquered, something to be beaten into submission, and something to be buried deeply, ignored, and never shown to others. The Monsters and Predatory Natures dewclawed and defanged for polite society. For those who are called to the Infernal Side of Spirituality, this is not only toxic to our basic nature, but can actually harm our being able to function in the Infernal Realms should we find need to go there. For someone willing to go through the process of taking this Darkness inside and learning to cherish it’s gifts, the outcome is nothing less than a shattering restructuring of our very concept of self. Those who are willing to fold their inner darkness into the fabric of their every day lives are catalyst of spiritual change in themselves and others.

The Third Concept of Darkness is the Darkness of the Underworld (that I personally approach as Erebus)… This is the misty darkness where rests all of the various Underworlds, the Shadowed Land of Death, and the Birthplace of all Dreams. It is in this Place that the Infernalist finds themselves the most strongly drawn too. While popular Religions tend to consider all places nested within Erebus “Hells” (and do not be mistaken, those Hells DO nest here as well) the landscape of Erebus is expansive with both beautiful afterlives, and pockets of beauty that can rival anything in the Lighted World.

These Three Concepts of Darkness, while being separate things, very often have an extreme level of interplay as well. Dreams drift to us from the Underworld, Night Descends and brings the Keys to the Doors of Erebus closer to grab at… their are many, MANY levels of interaction at play all wrapped up in that single word of Darkness. For those who wish to work the Infernal, knowing how this interplay happens, and understanding the different forms of Darkness are the beginning steps to unraveling ones place within the landscape of darkness.

New Mexico Sky…


So much of my actual witchery is wrapped up and tied up in this desert… Tied to the amazing desert sky and the old and wise Bristle-back Spirits, tied to the hurricane speed winds and the so-not-just-four-seasons we get… Wrapped up in the red earth and the dangerous wildlife, the scorching heat and the wind that pushes the ice into your bones till you are afraid they will splinter…

Place is *important*… Especially when you are as in love with one as I am.

Photo of SENM Sky, April 2014 Amorella Moon

It is not bloodstains you see here…


… but the mark of crimson tear drops that snuck out of my soul. Tragic. Hollow. Perfect. Shards of Divine Madness and Inspiration.

It must be understood that every poem, every painting that I put my hand to is both an extension of my heart, and a piece of my devotional practice to M’Lady Night. These are small portions of myself, small portions of Her that are created in near impossible ritual and pain. That is the way it must be, bartering blood and sanity and life for the moments when I can bring her Dark Divinity crashing down to this earth for others to discover and revel in.

Her and Her Dark Children are ALWAYS my why. They are my Cornerstone, my Muse, my Masters. If you find yourself moved by anything I have turned my hand to, understand that you are being moved by Them as well. They have me hide secrets. They have me hide keys to Divine Mysteries. They have me create beauty in the Darkness for those who need it.

And at the end of the day (And at the End of My Days), that is what I will be known for… A Divinely inspired, willingly tortured poetic soul…

… Im pretty OK with that.



… but I have always found beauty hiding in the ill lit spaces of this world. So much so that I have never flinched in my pursuit of it, never tried to find safety in the over-processed, lighted world around me that tries to demand I look at what I see with media-approved eyes.

I have created my own beauty out of What-Is-Not… and my heart will always ache for the truthful expression of that.


Photo 2012, Amorella Moon

This is My Place

This Deserts fire has never left me. Even when I spent cold, empty months among the mountains of Montana, it burned under the surface of my skin, itching to feel the Sun in a real way again.

This place has always had me in a way that others don’t understand. It has it’s own gravity where I am concerned, and that is because it is (very Literally) a part of me. My blood has splattered the dry earth here so many times that the Desert knows my very taste, knows that I am a willing, living extension of it’s savage nature, thorny and deadly bits included.

And that is what the people enchanted by this place never get around to saying… They love the deadly nature that surrounds them, because it makes them feel alive and free. From the icy cold nights that sink an otherworldly cold into your bones, to the blistering summer days that leave scars as their calling cards, this place can and WILL kill you if you are not aware.

The Desert makes you understand just how small this life, your life, really is. But how can you really care when surrounded by life so stubborn that even the Desert couldn’t kill it? We are the hard-minded children of this place as much as the rattle snakes and black widow spiders… And that is a beautiful thing.

In the desert we do not call out to the four directions… those distant guardians cannot protect us here. No, here we whisper prayers into staggering winds, and lay worshipful eyes upon sunsets that live and die in colors that all Flame is jealous of. We seek truths among the whispers of Divine Night, who’s cool embrace is our only solace away from the blistering daylight… for the daylight here is a heavy thing, and weighs even the young down with knowledge of close Death.

Our skin is thick with grit and scars. Our smiles just a little worn out and weary.

Our Elements are Wind and Fire and Soul, and we dance defiantly among them as thorns rip at our skin… and we bleed, and we know we are alive.